*cough cough*
This blog is so dusty seems like nobody came here for a
long time!! Okay let me scribble a bit…
Reason being for not updating my blog was that eventually
I have cleared CA…Yeah yeah!!! I don’t look like a studious guy…What to do??
After all I didn’t want to have my Business Card a blank one with many spaces
left vacant so thought of having some professional degree in my kitty!!
So I am a CA now and landed in Chennai for my next
version of my career as a CA (Chartered Accountant).
*Sweating* what to do this is a place where people
experience 12 months of summer!! Yes you read that CORRECT…its 12 months…now don’t
look at the calendar, a year still has only 12 months!!!
Okay enough of blabbering let me take you (Non Chennai
inhabitants) into Chennai’s happenings through my eyes (Not for Chennai people)
Came out of the Airport and could see people’s forehead smeared
with holy ash and for a moment I thought will I be transforming myself into the
same mould down the line???
Well I would let it be a thought and move on with the
events!!
House Hunting:
I felt clearing my CA exam was an easy deal as compared
to getting a house on rent in Chennai and that also a moderate one. After
visiting to tens of places and interacting with the house owners, I was of the
opinion that they have stereotyped bachelors into a single category (You
guessed it right, no explanations needed). Finally as luck would have it I got
a place near to my office. To get hold of a decent (case specific)place in
Chennai on rent, one needs to have close to 1 lakh in hand (yeah you heard it
right!!)
Landlord would ask you to shell 10 months as advance and
the broker would with lustful eyes eye upon one month rent!!
After emptying my bank account and filling landlord’s
pockets, I later on found that the place I had rented was a hunting ground for
mosquitoes. Even the best of repellants failed to work (thought of suing the
company for a while) and the mosquitoes partied all night up to the day I fixed
the nets!!
When I shared my agony, some wise people dispensed the
fact that there was drainage system behind my place and it was ought to be
bombarded with mosquitoes. I was wondering where the hell my not so common
sense was when I finalized this place. Anyway I was overwhelmed by the fact
that at least I had admirers (after all mosquitos are also a living thing)
Thought it to be some divine intervention to make me feel
that I am not alone and I have my so called humming friends who would sing me a
lullaby every night with my hands clapping for their performance!!!
Auto rickshaw
Drivers:
Precision performers well that’s how I would label them
as!!! Reason??? They are the creatures on earth who are authorized to do stunts
and actions with the passengers in the dock. And the way they maneuver around
the city in the so called yellow carrier, it seems that they charge for their action
stunts rather than ferrying passengers to their destination.
Well folks, you obviously need to shell out money to
watch any performance and they are no exception. The only difference being that
they charge according to the passenger they ferry. If you are a localite deal
is stuck in seconds and if not, even Forex speculations could also take a back
seat when it comes to auto fares for a non localite.
They are similar to girls I say!! Reason being that if
you give importance to any of the drivers with other driver in the waiting they
would give you a blind eye had the first deal not struck…So remember the rule
“First Arrived & First Deprived”. While driving they have some sort of
unnatural eyesight which makes them see the busy roads as Highways and the
throttle is choked to death. For them no gap is small enough to make way for
their carrier… So next time beware when you stretch your hands on road for any
purpose who knows your hand might be lying at the next signal acting as a
direction tool!!!
Earphone Maniacs:
No hole should be left open!!! No I am not talking about
the drainage hole I am referring to the holes in your ears… Black, White, and
Brown…wait I am not a racist I am referring to the color of earphones people
use. Every guy/gal in this city has this thing drilled into their ears
everywhere. God knows if they are listening to radio/ chatting with their Ex’s/
current or updating them with current affairs. I accept this isn’t my business
but still one should remember that sometimes engrossed conversation on roads
leads to engraved tombs!!!
Stalker:
Everywhere I went I was followed…
Every place I had food, she was there…
She had become a part of daily routine. How hard did I
try to escape, I couldn’t...
I pleaded mercy but it fell on deaf ears…
I tried various ways not much to avail…
She was not my first love but she had become way too
possessive…
I tried to make her understand but she didn’t…
It was not love at first sight but it turned out to be no
more of her sight…
I consulted many people but their answer was same that
anywhere you go in Chennai you will always be stalked with SAMBHAR!!!
Way back in 2010 I was christened as SAMBHAR MAN in
office costume party but as ill fate would have it, I am indeed have become
ONE!!!
In Northern India Chapatti would be FIXED component and
Side Dish would be a VARIABLE component but in Southern India, Sāmbhar is FIXED
and others are VARIABLE component.
Yes folks it is close to more than 2 months here and I
had CONSUMED Sāmbhar to such an extent which I couldn’t even think of having in
my whole life…Condition is such that if I am physically hurt I would bleed
SAMBHAR instead of BLOOD!!!
Politics:
Ever wondered how will you feel when you sport a pen,
wear a gold ring, place a photo frame in front of your car, with some political
leader photo on it??? I would term it as lunatic. I agree with following a
certain political party but by making it as a religion, come on I am no buyer
of this idiotic idea. Every nook and corner of this city is haunted by the
large sized banners, posters, idols and what else not!!! Spotted someone with white set of clothes, beware
of such person who knows he may be a self proclaimed leader of some party and
will be accompanied by a set of chorus group. Not only the weather remains hot,
even POLITICS also do!!!
At last color WHITE is no more a synonym for PEACE!!!
Driving:
Vroom!!! Screech!!! Vroom!!! Dishum!!!
Didn’t you understand??? Well this is how people
drive…ouch… drive is not a correct word it should be DRAG!!!
People when they place their ass on the driving seats are
immediately touched by the spirits of Vettel, Alonso and Hamilton…
Every person (of ALL AGE GROUPS) here (exceptions are
always there) drive as if they are the hero/heroine in some masala movie with
the bomb ticking and in case they didn’t reach their destination at the right
time, their love may be dead!!! In fact when I analyzed the vehicles on the
road I gauged that mostly everyone is riding gearless vehicles. They don’t even
have time for shifting gears… Time saving I guess!!!
I guess they should start using BRAKES much more than
their BRAINS!!!
Grace at a
Price:
God is omnipresent…I don’t think this statement holds well
in Southern India. Prominent temples I visited always had those 2 lines of
demarcation. One for people who would were kept away from the feet of the deities
and were allowed to bow from quite a
distance and another for those who shelled few bucks on rose garlands and opted
for special darshan. I would really need to have a word with God to know how
this mechanism works and what the sole purpose is when people have money to
shell on special darshan & rose garlands but not enough to donate to the
beggars sitting outside.
I could make simple equation from this:-
Ordinary Darshan + Pure Devotion = Bliss
Special Darshan + Showoff = God bless you!!!
Special and ordinary do not merely remain types of tea
these days they have prolonged to various aspects including religious places
too.
To conclude with I must admit that I have pointed out all
the negative aspects of this place…seems like being an auditor I have started
having my professional touch in personal aspect also!!! Will list out the
positives in my next post…until then SAMBHAR MAN WILL PREVAIL AGAINST ALL
ODDS!!!
