"Uncomplicate"

Let’s Uncomplicate… Well this aint any Apollo Munich Health Insurance Advt. It’s a thought which struck me yesterday when I went for a marriage ceremony. All I could see was glittering and wonderful decorations and loads of flowers being arranged in a very divine manner as if the bride and groom were to be married in heaven!!!

Amidst all this a thought struck me… Is this really what is necessary for a marriage? Or is it mere a show off or is this what we call in India “Ladki ki shaadi hai behetreen tarah se karni hai nahin toh ladke wale kya sochenge” (this is daughter’s marriage and it look like a big fat Indian wedding else what would the groom’s family & relatives think).

As I mentioned in my last post that without any commitment even faith doesn’t yield any result but does that apply to marriages also? Many of you would consider me as an old school but such issues needs to be addressed without compromising on bride’s after marriage life. Is it a kind of earnest deposit which the bride’s father makes which guarantees his daughter a smooth and happy life apart from prestige issues sprung ahead in future from her future in laws (barring a few who act reasonably).

Well in this fast paced life such thoughts seldom find place in our overstressed and modern lifestyle and we as a guest only end up visiting such functions, praise the decorations and arrangements being made by the bride and groom’s family, have a stomach full of varied dishes served on the platter, have a quick photo session giving a proof that “we were also there in best of our attires”. (Did I hear this act HELPLESS??? Who are we to stop such spends as long as we are not a prey)

Let’s bring in a situation such as:-

What would be the plight of a father who has 4 or 5 daughters and doesn’t have huge sum to shell out on such grand marriages?

Does this deprive his daughters a suitable and good groom?

Does our education degree from esteemed universities are mere a paper documents and stands nothing in front of such lavish amount being splurged?

Why not keep the marriage occasion a moderate affair and spend some chunk of it in feeding orphanages, old age homes and all such destitute whom we see in our daily life see at the traffic signals?

It has also been said in every religion that a person should direct 10% of his/her earning to such charitable purposes…

On one hand we boast of women empowerment but if such empowerment comes at such a huge price…Let alone God save us. Are the rich only reserved for rich and the poor only for poor? Well atleast I am not comfortable with this notion.

Those who agree with me:- Give it a thought

Those who don’t:- It’s just a blog (Constitution doesn’t deprive me of freedom of speech)

Like it has been said that to preach is easy to act upon is difficult but it has also been said that life is a learning process and who knows this deed of ours could pave way for a better future for someone’s daughter…

"Faith"

Faith... Yes it’s indeed the driving force of any individual in pursuing or going ahead with any endeavor. Well the dictionary meaning is “unquestioning belief that does not require proof or evidence”. To put it in a simple manner it can be put across as

• Belief of a mother that her son/daughter would find a suitable match.
• Belief of a farmer that this time the rain god will shower and it will be a good yield.
• Belief of parents that their children would take care of them in old age.
• Belief of a single parent that he/she would provide the best of everything to their child.

One could come up by a lot of such portraits of faith...But is it only faith that would bring in a positive aura around someone? or is it one's commitment and efforts which supports the very existence of faith?, that's a debatable aspect. Like it has been said that faith is the very existence of everything in this world. But clinging onto only Faith would not bear any fruits. unless it is supplemented by a person's zeal and actions.

Let’s assume Faith as an ATM or even a bank account, where money is one's commitment and ATM is the outcome, because unless you have monies in your account you cannot withdraw anything. Taking this example a little further we often are sprung with situations where we evaluate the other person on these faith parameters, and go on with our relationships  which is decided by a mere acts of a person and justify ourselves by stating that we had full faith on that person but they didn’t act as we had perceived.

Faith should not be termed as a synonym for wish, desire or even HOPE. Many of us confuse ourselves with this and we even don’t spare the almighty in this due course and throw out some punch lines as:-

• I have full faith in my god and he would surely work this in my favor.
• God won’t shake my faith.
• After all I have worshipped all these years and even went to numerous shrines and religious places.

Faith is indeed a farm which yields good crop when you feed it with good fertilizers, seeds, germination and put in your efforts and then HOPE that it will be a good yield this time.

Faith is a train which has the engine of hard work, efforts, dedication and commitment which indeed gives a thrust to the compartment called as Bogie.

Dear readers I would like to conclude this topic by saying that:-

“FAITH”:- It’s the sun that would rise in the east.

“HOPE”:-  It wont be much hot today.

"Marriages"

Marriages….aaah….That surely would have brought a smile on your face if you are a bachelor and at the same time you would have grinned if you were being married for quite some time….Nevertheless like a child which needs to be baptized, in the same manner every so called bachelor would one or the other day needs to bear the wrath of this process.

Drifting a bit to humorous side before taking any serious discussion on this topic…Someone mentioned it in a very humorous way that it is actually the time “When a guy loses his bachelor’s and the girl attains her major’s”. “Marriage is more or less like an elephant, everybody admires it but when it actually comes to owning one, it is then the actual guts and grits come into the picture”. Anyways I won’t elongate on this topic as many of you would disagree on my opinion of marriage.

Coming back to the topic on serious note, are today’s marriages completely turning out the way as it should be or it is mere a depiction of so called one’s status and well being in the society. Why that nowadays the newspapers are flooded with news of dowry, harassment and other social problems? Why that women’s cell for grievance is growing larger in number as compared to the small number of schools for the underprivileged?

A large chunk of people would be disagreeing with me on the same as they would be of the opinion that such acts of insaneness are the result of muddle headed and narrow minded people who see a girl as an object of recurring finances to satisfy their monetary needs.

There are growing numbers of instances where infidelity comes into the scene nowadays Why is that so when everything is mutually agreed upon before entering into a life long commitment between two souls. Again I would like to reiterate that don’t spoil someone’s life if you are not ready to carry on life long relationship with him/her. Remember my fellow readers that marriage is not like a Cellular Services SIM card which can be discarded as and when you don’t like the services rendered. It is actually when you look beyond the imperfections and carry on the cart of life with not so perfect set of tyres.

Why nowadays divorce lawyers are much in vogue rather than criminal lawyers as divorce in itself is not less than a crime. There may be much to discuss about the same but I would confine my view on this topic to the minimum as I don’t want to hurt any feelings of my friends & folks. Why that if a person is married society would term him/her as a normal human being whereas if the other aspect is shown onto it has no takers. In fact as debated upon earlier we as a social animal are living more for the society than for our self.

I really appreciate the couples who among their much chaotic life find a way to deal with it and like salt and pepper adds flavour to a dish…they treat adversities as something which spices up and adds flavour to the life and carry on the journey even though how hard the life treats them or how soft the dreaded paths seem to appear. Hats off to such couples.

Whoahh…much of serious view points. Let me share with you all a small story

“Once upon a time a couple decided to tie the knot. But as ill fate would have it they met with an accident and died. They then appeared before the St Peter and narrated their love for each other and wished that if they could get married here in heaven. St Peter was a bit puzzled with this request. But since it was heavens, no request was turned down and hence St Peter went on to look for a solution. In the mean while the couple started pondering as to whether they should get married or not as there could exist a situation if they didn’t get along well in the future. Hence they waited for St Peter to come back. When St Peter came back he was overjoyed and conveyed that they could get married as there was a priest in heaven’s but when the couple uttered that they were no longer of the same opinion. St Peter got furious and shouted back that “It took me 3 months to search for a priest in heaven and I suppose if any lawyer ever exist in the heaven”

Somewhere there would be an urge to get oneself married irrespective of whatever consequences one needs to face thereafter but what’s the point of satisfying a chunk of people on the cost of foregoing your happiness. Like they say it’s not those chunk of people who will come down to help when your marital life in distort but actually its both the persons (read as couple) who will console and comfort each other in times of distress.

One more thought to bring this article to an end comes to my mind…”Get yourself married to the person whom you love talking to because in old age its not the looks or money…but your conversational skills that will keep the life moving on”…

"Shades"

Shades….. Well to clear the confusion in the air I am not going to write anything about Ray Ban or Bausch & Lomb…What I am referring to is the shades of our personalities which are embedded in our personal sphere thereby adding up to the “Persona” thing.

One in his normal course of life cannot deny that the other person is completely selfless and truly lives a life of a sage (not referring to the modern day god men who perfectly fit into the scenario of living for the self…oops flesh…) its way much more beyond that.

What a person comes up in front of other may normally and often may not be the real self…it is the reel self…as today’s fast paced life is no less than a movie in which we all want to have the ingredients of action, drama, comedy & saga but above all always expect a “Happy Ending” which is true to a maximum extent. People nowadays seem to have a back up image of them to help them deal with various kinds of souls which exists in this world.

As in my opinion it’s not what your life comprises of…its how much in your life you have compromised for… and this compromise thing somewhere I feel brings us to the level of behaving in different manner just to please or get along with your peers. But in this what we forget is that “We might put up different face and act for a while but we forget that neither the face is permanent nor the act which you put forth upon”

Everybody does have another shade of their personality…as few punch lines come to my mind…:-

• Whatever glitters is not always gold.
• A face which always smiles may have dreaded/deep secrets behind.
• The mask which we wear at work often becomes the face

Half way through this write up I sensed that many would argue upon this topic and may not be ending up on satisfied side thereby springing up something against…but as we all know that likewise no two fingers are of same size, the same case is applicable to opinions of persons.

Coming back to the topic which got deviated because of difference in opinions…(which I am sure is just the case of patching up with peers or readers so that they don’t get offended. gosh…did I put up a reel face to please you all on this by making the statement?) Anyways the shades any individual puts on is not because he has to. it is because failing which he will be termed as someone arrogant, moody, cheerful, boring and above all an isolated human being in this so called socialized world.

Okay let me ask you all a question…how many of you often agree with or get along with your peers, relatives and friends view points, their behavior, and their acts????

Second question…how many times have you tried to set forth their acts whether right or wrong and often end up saying to your self that “As a friend I have advised him/her but since its his/her life they need to sort it out”

It often happens that you console or advise your peers but how many times does it actually is free of grudges….No need to answer this question as the best answer would be given by your conscience…and accept the fact that “YOU” know that

Why do we actually need to or end up putting different faces in this society:-

• To get along or gel well?
• To be socially accepted?
• To have a clean image and put up as someone who is very caring and kind?
• To be the most sought after person or in other words…someone as clear as water?

I leave this to you to ponder upon as someone said that silence is nothing but having a chat with your inner self. So think about this…if you wish to. Keep donning the mask which sometimes not every time is the better task

"Career"

Career as a lot of people say is actually a carrier of your life on which you wish to begin the journey of decades but if one gives it a second thought one would arrive at a decision that a lot of understanding and brain storming goes into choosing a right career.

For some this task may be made easy by their siblings or their parents, as they wish to carry on their legacy of being addressed as a clan of Doctors, IITians, Accountants, for some it would be influenced by their known ones who impose upon or in other terms show off as to what a superb life awaits the person who goes in for XYZ course or studies.

But infact how many of us are able to choose upon a career in the right spirit and are often happy and content with the decision which we took…. I guess the answer would be varying from…

• Actually the time I enrolled myself for the course there was a scope but now it doesn’t
• Sometimes the institutions also matter and since I was not admitted into the elite colleges so may be the reason I ended up here.
• Well I was initially not interested in this field but somehow I started off from this field so I need to be in this… Of course if anything comes up interesting I am all for it….

Well going by the points which were actually been sliced to minimum so that it throws light on the writer’s personal experiences. (Bit carried away by the term “Writer”), one may argue that everyone in this world doesn’t get hold of everything perfect, it is completely by the person’s attributes that helps him break away from the mould of imperfection and venture into a realm of perfection which earlier was sought to be imperfect.

However in today’s competitive sphere it’s not how much hard work you put in but it’s how smart you are in putting your efforts into… Just for an example here is a real life situation, Two candidates both pass outs of same college, one end up as a VP but the other still dabbling with his skills to be the most sought after employee.

One may come up with many more instances but carrying on the topic of career further…its not the institute, course and ratings which are attached to the degree in fact it’s the passion, interest and dedication which is infused by someone into that field which gives him immense pleasure (read as superficial happiness)

Taking this topic to the next level, I would wish to interview some personalities who drifted from so called conventional line of studies and took up something which even made them sacrifice their hard earned degree , go against their parents advice , get stooped to a lower salary (which some people term as demoted). But along with this gyaan comes a hard hitting truth that only those who succeed after taking this decision are talked about, rest lie as an unattended dog after an accident

Well according to my notion the actual world is a plastic one where plastic money brings on a plastic smile however I wish to make some exceptions for a certain group whom the irrational people term as emotional maniacs as there exists no better thing as money.

One such example which comes to my mind is of Raj Kumar Hirani, producer of much acclaimed “3 idiots” whose father owned a typing institute named Raj Kumar which actually led to him naming the same. Hirani hated accounts and didn’t want to go in for C.A and tried to drift away into film editing and went on to pursue a diploma in film editing is an example as to how an academic degree or your past academic qualification will not deter you from going in to a area in which you have passion for.

Well to come upon on a conclusion about this much debated and talked about topic amongst the youth and obviously their parents, I vouch for the opinion that “one should actually go into a field which one aspires for and not for the something which the society would aspire for from you”

Subdued Mind sees the Dawn

Hello Friends,

This is another blogger whose mind (read as subdued) has mustered up courage to come out in the not so open sphere to cough up its thoughts. And this subdued mind has been inhabited by an individual called as ME (referred to as Raghavan). Though i am no professor nor someone who had done extensive reading of literary books and has a strong vocabulary base but i am someone who would have an opinion on tit bits of events happening in daily life.

Since i am a beginner in putting across my thoughts suggestions and feedback are most welcome :)
I can be contacted at:-

raghavan.86@gmail.com
0-9990666008