Ever wondered why things sometimes never fall into place
even after being backed up by the best of means?
Wondering why the chap next door moves ahead in this rat
race even though not well equipped?
Why your friend gets those best of job mails in his inbox
amidst creating his job profile in not so MBA styled format?
Why the telephonic call seeking your interest in the job
prospect never gets converted into an opportunity?
Why conversing like an orator to a HR person doesn’t win
you an offer letter?
Well, I guess you might have read the answers to this
questions in numerous HR Forums and Groups which very often blow the same
trumpets over and again and we make a fool out of ourselves by breeding on the
idea that we are definitely doing something the other way around?
Hmmm…So you might be tickled with the idea that why this
guy who deals with numbers creating hoopla about the HR perspective...Well this
is for the simple reason that I am UN-employed right now...(Currently employed
for looking employment)
Stop right here…This post is not to canvass any referral
/ send in some job alerts for me!!! (Wicked smile)…Even if you do I would not
reward you more than a burger @ McDonalds which is funded by the free coupon I received
from a online recharge portal whilst recharging someone else’s mobile…(Miser
eh???)
Day starts with a hope to get some divine intervention in
the form of HR personnel, who I wish would:
- Know my physical, monetary and social needs in
advance,
- Provide me with a 5 day working,
- Give lot more incentives for joining the
organization,
- Doesn’t grill me like a sabziwallah to lower my expectations,
- Schedules
my interview during non peak hours to beat traffic woes…
Did I ask for something extra?? Dish TV ka advt. dekha hai maine…”Thoda
aur wish karo” kehte hain Shahrukh Khan saab…
I sometimes wonder if the outgoing facility on telephone of
HR people gets barred right after they call me as I never heard from them next
time…They better pay up their phone bills or appoint me to take care of the
same!!!
I have heard lot of HR people pop the question “Why are
you looking for a job change??”
What a stupid question is this??
Sometimes I feel like saying these things:-
- I want to add up more friends on my Facebook
account as I will meet new people in new office.
- I wanted to taste the coffee from your office
vending machine as I read in some serious confessions page that they tasted “AWESOME”!!!…
- I have heard that you provide samosa and chutney
every evening in your office,
- You equip the new joiners by giving those 5 Rs
pens and a notepad…
- I would be getting a new I card, business card and
most importantly a new ZERO “0” balance account as I am ultra poor to have a
savings account in private banks these days keeping an AQB of INR 10000…
- And lastly I get a chance to shake hands with
all the girls in the organization on my first day of introduction!!!
Next Question: What is your expectation?
Whatever my expectation is… I surely know that you would
take advantage of my situation and the word EXPECT would be read as ACCEPT!!!
The Final Question of telephonic round: How soon can you
join...? It sounds like asking a hungry…Would you like to have a simple pizza
or a one with extra toppings of jalapeno and pepper…
To all the HR’s please take note: “BEGGARS CAN’T BE CHOOSERS”
I am surely not grumpy on not landing on a job as I try
to console myself by reiterating the fact that
- Industry is going through a lean period,
- I am overqualified,
- This is not my type of job,
- It’s my life and I would like to make it large
just like MSD,Saif and likes
- Opportunity would surely knock at my place once
more as I have changed my address (Resume)
- I don’t want ending up as another chap who after
putting in 40 years of his life is still not able to gather 40 odd reasons why
he kept clinging to the same job down the line…
Drifting on to a serious side of mine I often end up analyzing
few questions which gives me a different view:
- How many resumes of your friends still lie
unattended in your inbox and you least bothered to forward it to some viable
opportunity?
- How many times there had been an opportunity
which was not suited for you but you friend could end up with the job…but your
procrastination snatched it?
- How often you had not appreciated and motivated
your friend of the qualities they had in them which IF rekindled could let them rediscover themselves?
- A new idea paves way for new horizons to be discovered…How
many of such ideas you had not supported or killed right after initiation of
your friends?
- Thought process and creativity comes out of
promoting the efforts not by being jealous…Remember “WE ARE UNIQUE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE”…
- How many times we have labeled our peer’s
efforts by terming them as sheer luck and giving it a blind eye?
- How you felt ridiculing a 6 or 7 pointer grades
of your friends and feeling proud of your 9 pointer even after realizing the
hardships they faced and termed it has life’s lessons?
Remember “TIME” is a powerful teacher…Who knows you could also end up on the
receiving side of your friends?
Enough being serious about life…So while penning this
article I thought of changing the direction of my laptop to attract positive energies
(it doesn't matter being superstitious if it rewards you a job) in spite of me
being positioned on a seat like a passenger travelling without ticket and
suspending their half ass in air…
So folks never ridicule or demoralize your friends…who
knows, the idea they conceived could end up in a life changing experience for
the mankind…
Off late, I am keeping a tab on all those (4365 and
counting) who constantly say, when meeting me in temple, shops or in my home itself
that “Don’t
worry, God has something very good in his store for you”
Until then, I am back to my job hunting spree and in case
any HR comes across this post please don’t get offended it was purely meant for
fun and inviting your attention and if you are serious about hiring me (C.A
& MBA)…Just shoot an email and I will right there in your office even
before my mail reaches your inbox!!!
