"A Day in the Life of an Unemployed"

Ever wondered why things sometimes never fall into place even after being backed up by the best of means?

Wondering why the chap next door moves ahead in this rat race even though not well equipped?

Why your friend gets those best of job mails in his inbox amidst creating his job profile in not so MBA styled format?

Why the telephonic call seeking your interest in the job prospect never gets converted into an opportunity?

Why conversing like an orator to a HR person doesn’t win you an offer letter?

Well, I guess you might have read the answers to this questions in numerous HR Forums and Groups which very often blow the same trumpets over and again and we make a fool out of ourselves by breeding on the idea that we are definitely doing something the other way around?

Hmmm…So you might be tickled with the idea that why this guy who deals with numbers creating hoopla about the HR perspective...Well this is for the simple reason that I am UN-employed right now...(Currently employed for looking employment)

Stop right here…This post is not to canvass any referral / send in some job alerts for me!!! (Wicked smile)…Even if you do I would not reward you more than a burger @ McDonalds which is funded by the free coupon I received from a online recharge portal whilst recharging someone else’s mobile…(Miser eh???)

Day starts with a hope to get some divine intervention in the form of HR personnel, who I wish would:

• Know my physical, monetary and social needs in advance,
• Provide me with a 5 day working,
• Give lot more incentives for joining the organization,
• Doesn’t grill me like a sabziwallah to lower my expectations,
• Schedules my interview during non peak hours to beat traffic woes…

Did I ask for something extra?? Dish TV ka advt. dekha hai maine…”Thoda aur wish karo” kehte hain Shahrukh Khan saab…

I sometimes wonder if the outgoing facility on telephone of HR people gets barred right after they call me as I never heard from them next time…They better pay up their phone bills or appoint me to take care of the same!!!

I have heard lot of HR people pop the question “Why are you looking for a job change??” 
What a stupid question is this??  

Sometimes I feel like saying these things:-

• I want to add up more friends on my Facebook account as I will meet new people in new office.
• I wanted to taste the coffee from your office vending machine as I read in some serious confessions page that they tasted “AWESOME”!!!…
• I have heard that you provide samosa and chutney every evening in your office,
• You equip the new joiners by giving those 5 Rs pens and a notepad…
• I would be getting a new I card, business card and most importantly a new ZERO “0” balance account as I am ultra poor to have a savings account in private banks these days keeping an AQB of INR 10000…
• And lastly I get a chance to shake hands with all the girls in the organization on my first day of introduction!!!

Next Question: What is your expectation?

Whatever my expectation is… I surely know that you would take advantage of my situation and the word EXPECT would be read as ACCEPT!!!

The Final Question of telephonic round: How soon can you join...? It sounds like asking a hungry…Would you like to have a simple pizza or a one with extra toppings of jalapeno and pepper…

To all the HR’s please take note: “BEGGARS CAN’T BE CHOOSERS”

I am surely not grumpy on not landing on a job as I try to console myself by reiterating the fact that

• Industry is going through a lean period,
• I am overqualified,
• This is not my type of job,
• It’s my life and I would like to make it large just like MSD,Saif and likes
• Opportunity would surely knock at my place once more as I have changed my address (Resume)
•  I don’t want ending up as another chap who after putting in 40 years of his life is still not able to gather 40 odd reasons why he kept clinging to the same job down the line…

Drifting on to a serious side of mine I often end up analyzing few questions which gives me a different view:

• How many resumes of your friends still lie unattended in your inbox and you least bothered to forward it to some viable opportunity?
• How many times there had been an opportunity which was not suited for you but you friend could end up with the job…but your procrastination snatched it?
• How often you had not appreciated and motivated your friend of the qualities they had in them which IF rekindled could let them rediscover themselves?
• A new idea paves way for new horizons to be discovered…How many of such ideas you had not supported or killed right after initiation of your friends?
• Thought process and creativity comes out of promoting the efforts not by being jealous…Remember “WE ARE UNIQUE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE”…
• How many times we have labeled our peer’s efforts by terming them as sheer luck and giving it a blind eye?
• How you felt ridiculing a 6 or 7 pointer grades of your friends and feeling proud of your 9 pointer even after realizing the hardships they faced and termed it has life’s lessons?

Remember “TIME” is a powerful teacher…Who knows you could also end up on the receiving side of your friends?

Enough being serious about life…So while penning this article I thought of changing the direction of my laptop to attract positive energies (it doesn't matter being superstitious if it rewards you a job) in spite of me being positioned on a seat like a passenger travelling without ticket and suspending their half ass in air…

So folks never ridicule or demoralize your friends…who knows, the idea they conceived could end up in a life changing experience for the mankind…

Off late, I am keeping a tab on all those (4365 and counting) who constantly say, when meeting me in temple, shops or in my home itself that “Don’t worry, God has something very good in his store for you”

Until then, I am back to my job hunting spree and in case any HR comes across this post please don’t get offended it was purely meant for fun and inviting your attention and if you are serious about hiring me (C.A & MBA)…Just shoot an email and I will right there in your office even before my mail reaches your inbox!!!